Merry Thanksgiving
Merry Thanksgiving everybody. Now, I know that Thanksgiving is an American holiday, and many bloggers around the world may be unfamiliar with the origin of Thanksgiving, or as it is affectionately called by the obese, "Turkey Day". In order for overall, international clarity I shall spend this post retelling the Thanksgiving Story...
Once upon a time, many people sailed on a ship named the Mayflower across the sea from England in search of a better life. They encountered many hardships on their nautical journey, but the brave and strong Captain Christopher Columbus and his three daughters Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria stood strong against the difficulties and saved the passengers. They battled The Loc Ness Monster, her sister Loc Tess, three giant killer squids, twelve rabid sea monkeys, scurvy ridden robots, and the first mates flatulence. After surviving the perils of the sea they finally reached land, which is currently called the United States of America. After they landed they took on the new title of Pilgrims. Now as soon as they started exploring the new land the Pilgrims encountered the indigenous people. Captain Chris named them Indians, because he thought they had landed in Indianapolis. Now the Indians didn't like to be called Indians, because they had always called themselves Native Americans, and felt that the Pilgrims were being politically incorrect. A big feud broke out between the Indians and the Pilgrims that lasted many moons. Soon, winter was approaching and the Pilgrims were unprepared for the season. They had spent all their time feuding and forgot to set up any McDonald's franchises in their new country, so they were unable to eat. Now you might think that since the Pilgrims were starving the Indians would have won the fight, but you'd be wrong. You see the Indians were unprepared for the upcoming winter as well because they had thrown all their sticks that held up their teepees at the Pilgrims during the feud, so they were freezing without their homes. Now the Pilgrims being master city planners, architects, and construction foremen, had all the shelter they needed. And the Indians were all five star chefs, so food wasn't a problem. Now Captain Christopher Columbus and the Indian Chief Dances With Wolves had a power pow wow and realized that they needed each other, and that the fighting had to stop. So the Pilgrims constructed a series of track homes for the Indians, and the Indians cooked some Avian fluless Turkeys with their secret stuffing that was to die for, and they thanked each other and they all lived Happily Ever After. The End.
I hope you all now understand why we celebrate Thanksgiving in America. I think it would be nice it everyone took the time today, even if you don't live in the US, to remember all the things in your life you should be thankful for. But if you can't think of anything at all to be thankful for, then just be thankful you won't be eating this during your holiday dinner.
posted by Courtney at
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
43 comment(s):
Happy Thanksgiving Courtney! You are charmingly brilliant, as always!
By
Indeterminacy, at
Thu Nov 24, 12:22:00 AM 2005
It's about time you posted again!
I thought you'd given up blogging all together. This fab post was worth the wait. Superb!
Thanks for making me laugh. You are a joy. I am thankful for you.
By
Jamie Dawn, at
Thu Nov 24, 10:11:00 AM 2005
This is superior, CourtLey (I spell it that way to bug your Mother). I dropped in on a good day.
Thanks much for dropping in where Hoss lives and leaving a nice comment. You are a great kid.
One thing you forgot in your story: The colonists also survived 11 Lords a-leaping.
By
OldHorsetailSnake, at
Thu Nov 24, 11:16:00 AM 2005
Oh, this is good. You and I had the same mindset going in cyberspace. Thanks for coming by my page. Between plates of turkey, I plan on linking you to my page--I want to get to know your writing!
By
Enemy of the Republic, at
Thu Nov 24, 11:49:00 AM 2005
Eww, why did you make me look at that... that THING??? I have to go stab my eyes out now. Not really, it's burned into my brain so that won't help. Happy Thanksgiving and thanks for the history lesson :)
By
Ivy the Goober, at
Thu Nov 24, 04:57:00 PM 2005
Courtney you are right I'm so thankful that turkey is the thanksgiving meal not dog....good blog I enjoyed it.
By
Wilena, at
Thu Nov 24, 07:10:00 PM 2005
I'll be sure and make notes on this for my next lesson on the subject. Thanks so much for clearing it up for me. :)
Hope you had a great Thanksgiving!
By
Fred, at
Thu Nov 24, 07:39:00 PM 2005
Loc Tess...that's great.
I imagine the late ugly dog tasted like chicken. Really bad dry hairy chicken.
By
MCF, at
Thu Nov 24, 07:45:00 PM 2005
LOL, that's probably the truest account I've heard yet. Thanks for the laugh!
By
Monique, at
Thu Nov 24, 09:07:00 PM 2005
LOL, LOL...Your Mom linked this post and am I glad she did. I love your Thanksgiving Story...and from now on I am going to tell it like this, too! I cannot thank you enough! Very Very Funny! Thanks so much for the really good laugh.
By
OldOldLady Of The Hills, at
Fri Nov 25, 12:17:00 AM 2005
Hi Courtney, you mom said it was worth a visit and she was certainly right.
It was a good history lesson for us Aussies.
By
Peter, at
Fri Nov 25, 02:00:00 AM 2005
Cute story, Courtney! lol
By
Mike ( ex scientia, veritas ), at
Fri Nov 25, 03:53:00 AM 2005
Great recap!!
By
DeeJay, at
Fri Nov 25, 05:47:00 AM 2005
Top notch writing. Submit it as your college essay! This is great and I'm so glad Hoss sent me over. Thank you!
(our first fried turkey attempt came out looking sort of like that dog...)
By
vicki, at
Fri Nov 25, 06:01:00 AM 2005
Hoss sent me over. It was well worth it. Thanks for a laugh. And that dog, or whatever it was, OMG!
By
Carolyn, at
Fri Nov 25, 08:10:00 AM 2005
Hoss sent me, too! I'm glad he did. I'm going to add you to favorites! I hope you're considering a career in journalism!
By
bev, at
Fri Nov 25, 08:29:00 AM 2005
I'm here from Hoss as well.
Good post. Very funny. Worth the link.
By
Tan Lucy Pez, at
Fri Nov 25, 08:58:00 AM 2005
Very Nice my niece.
Uncle Jason
By
Anonymous, at
Fri Nov 25, 09:21:00 AM 2005
Bravo! Great story. (ootta wonder how they were ever so close to starving, so close to all that teeming seafood...)
And that is one ugly dog--or WAS one ugly, ugly, scary, Grinch-lookin' dog. Yikes!
By
actonbell, at
Fri Nov 25, 10:20:00 AM 2005
Extremely clever and talented writing but the dog really got me laughing. I think he belongs to The Crypt Keeper.
By
Saur♥Kraut, at
Fri Nov 25, 10:43:00 AM 2005
great writing c.m., and thank you so much for inspiring all of us to mummify our dogs....
By
Quincy, at
Fri Nov 25, 11:33:00 AM 2005
After reading Ivy's comment I decided not to look at the link, but ythis was wonderfully entertaining. :)
PS. Came here by way of your mother's
By
FTS, at
Fri Nov 25, 12:28:00 PM 2005
That's hysterical, Courtney but you're wrong. We had Sam at our dinner.
By
Doug, at
Fri Nov 25, 12:41:00 PM 2005
Very funny! Bravo!
By
Jen, at
Fri Nov 25, 01:29:00 PM 2005
Hey Everybody! Thanks for all the comments. Glad you liked my post.
By
Courtney, at
Fri Nov 25, 03:17:00 PM 2005
Geeze, I never thought to ask my turkey if it was Avian fluless! Darn.
By
kenju, at
Fri Nov 25, 04:47:00 PM 2005
Incredible! Loved it! And I can't believe Sam is dead. Poor Sam.
By
Inanna, at
Fri Nov 25, 07:06:00 PM 2005
Your Mom sent me over. Your story is very funny, but That poor dog!!! Isn't that against the law?
By
Mountain Mama, at
Fri Nov 25, 10:53:00 PM 2005
Oh MY! I like your story soooooo much better than that old tired one from the past! I'm assuming you're on pie overload like your mom ;) Keep the faith. ^j^
By
poopie, at
Sat Nov 26, 06:26:00 AM 2005
Great post!
By
AP3, at
Sun Nov 27, 08:18:00 AM 2005
Great story Courtney!
Hope you had a great thanksgiving.
By
Kyahgirl, at
Mon Nov 28, 08:32:00 AM 2005
Superlative. Enjoyed the post in a way that only a non-Native American Indian can. Yahahahahhah.
And as for the link. I am now off to do what Ivy did with her eyes.
By
longblackveil, at
Mon Nov 28, 06:23:00 PM 2005
I remember celebrating that first Thanksgiving. You have it exactly right. Your research and history are so accurate! Were you there, too?
Were you aware that the company I worked for made the first American outhouses that year? "Speak For Yourself Johns" is what we called them.
Sorry I read this so late, but I was out of town for the weekend.
By
Paul, at
Tue Nov 29, 09:12:00 AM 2005
Hoss sent me over. A bit late but then I only found him 2 days ago. This was ingenious and should be included somewhere in grade school so all can know the 'true' story.
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Wed Feb 07, 12:20:00 AM 2007
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Muy Señores Míos:
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