I Must Destroy Courtney Love
I want everybody to go to Yahoo! Then search for Courtney. Just Courtney, nothing else. I come up number 2 on their search results. Only second to Courtney Love. I must blow Courtney Love off the cyberspace map. I want to be number 1! Come join me and my campaign to rid the Yahoo! search results of the druggie rocker. Courtney's Blog will be Victorious!!! Mwuhahahaha!
Merry Thanksgiving
Merry Thanksgiving everybody. Now, I know that Thanksgiving is an American holiday, and many bloggers around the world may be unfamiliar with the origin of Thanksgiving, or as it is affectionately called by the obese, "Turkey Day". In order for overall, international clarity I shall spend this post retelling the Thanksgiving Story...
Once upon a time, many people sailed on a ship named the Mayflower across the sea from England in search of a better life. They encountered many hardships on their nautical journey, but the brave and strong Captain Christopher Columbus and his three daughters Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria stood strong against the difficulties and saved the passengers. They battled The Loc Ness Monster, her sister Loc Tess, three giant killer squids, twelve rabid sea monkeys, scurvy ridden robots, and the first mates flatulence. After surviving the perils of the sea they finally reached land, which is currently called the United States of America. After they landed they took on the new title of Pilgrims. Now as soon as they started exploring the new land the Pilgrims encountered the indigenous people. Captain Chris named them Indians, because he thought they had landed in Indianapolis. Now the Indians didn't like to be called Indians, because they had always called themselves Native Americans, and felt that the Pilgrims were being politically incorrect. A big feud broke out between the Indians and the Pilgrims that lasted many moons. Soon, winter was approaching and the Pilgrims were unprepared for the season. They had spent all their time feuding and forgot to set up any McDonald's franchises in their new country, so they were unable to eat. Now you might think that since the Pilgrims were starving the Indians would have won the fight, but you'd be wrong. You see the Indians were unprepared for the upcoming winter as well because they had thrown all their sticks that held up their teepees at the Pilgrims during the feud, so they were freezing without their homes. Now the Pilgrims being master city planners, architects, and construction foremen, had all the shelter they needed. And the Indians were all five star chefs, so food wasn't a problem. Now Captain Christopher Columbus and the Indian Chief Dances With Wolves had a power pow wow and realized that they needed each other, and that the fighting had to stop. So the Pilgrims constructed a series of track homes for the Indians, and the Indians cooked some Avian fluless Turkeys with their secret stuffing that was to die for, and they thanked each other and they all lived Happily Ever After. The End.
I hope you all now understand why we celebrate Thanksgiving in America. I think it would be nice it everyone took the time today, even if you don't live in the US, to remember all the things in your life you should be thankful for. But if you can't think of anything at all to be thankful for, then just be thankful you won't be eating this during your holiday dinner.
Videogamin' & A Shovelfull of Shameless Self Promotion
Below is a list of all the video games I have actually beat. These are the few video games I have taken the time to master and beat into submission. I have completed every objective, defeated every boss, killed all the bad guys, collected all the tokens, and did whatever else was necessary to reach the coveted, boring game credits.
1. Primal Rage. A dinosaur fighting game similar to Mortal Combat. Was one the very fist video games I ever played.
2. A Bug's Life. The very first Playstation game I ever played. I remember putting that in and seeing the graphics for the first time. It blew me away! After playing on a Super Nintendo, the Playstation graphics were so realistic in comparison. It was amazing.
3. Area 51. The video game that you find in arcades. I have actually stood in front of this game long enough and shelled out enough of my parent’s quarters to beat this game a couple times.
4. Spyro 2: Ripto's Rage. This game was completed in one night. I am not joking. Dad rented it at blockbuster, and Taylor and I sat our butts in front of the tv and didn't movie until it was beat that very night.
5. Crash Bandicoot 3: Warped. This was one of my favorite games when I was little. My favorite level was when you got to play Coco and ride her pet tiger of the Great Wall of China smashing boxes.
6. Crash Team Racing. A Mario Cart copy, and a good one at that. Had all my favorite characters from the other Crash Bandicoot games. Loved racing this game against my Dad and Brother. I always won. I truly was the best at this game.
7. Tetris Plus. Another game I am unbeatable at. This game is so simple, yet soooo addicting. It's just like regular Tetris except it has this little explorer guy you have to keep from climbing up the blocks that fall down as well as not letting the blocks build up.
8. Ridge Racer 4. Great game. Ridge Racer 5 was the very first Playstation 2 game out and it sucked. But Ridge Racer 4 was one of the most fun games ever.
9. Enter The Matrix. This game was beat in 2 days with a hefty dose of helpful cheat codes.
10. SSX. The very first of the SSX trilogy. A great snowboarding game. So fun.
11. SSX: Tricky. The sequel to SSX. Is sooooo fun. The tricks are amazing. The characters are so fun and colorful, and tracks are great. I still love playing this game over and over, ever though I have beaten it.
12. SSX 3. Come on it's SSX. How can you go wrong? Love the fact that you have to snowboard to the races, then race, and then snowboard to the next race. The freeform game play where you can just wonder around the mounting aimlessly is so great.
13. Simpson's Road Rage. Arrrrrrgh! I love The Simpson's tv show. I love this Simpson's game. Dad and I play this game every night it's like a little mini nightly tournament. He can't beat me and it drives him nuts. The way Dad plays this game is a funny enough story to merit it's own post. I might have to write about it in more detail soon.
For the hardcore gamer, my little list of 13 is pretty pitiful. But to me, those 13 games symbolize many a morning sitting in front of the tv with pjs on and reaching a miraculous goal. Thank you.
And by the way... check out my Movie Review Blog
